Holy Cow (literally)......

This week, I was cleaning and I stumbled across 2 old digital cameras in our den closet. I haven’t used these cameras in ages. I checked and the memory chip was still inside. I decided to upload them to my computer. I had no idea what was even on these cameras. To my surprise I found pictures from 2006 until about the 2009 timeframe. At first, it was quite fun. It’s always nice to look back at pictures that you haven’t seen in quite awhile. I found pictures from when Rob and I first started dating, pictures of our amazing vacations, pictures of my family and so much more! The more I was looking at the pictures, the more I felt a slight despair coming on. Looking at myself in these pictures blatantly reminded me that I used to be somewhat “skinny.” That is a word that is no longer part of my vocabulary.  I found pictures from 2007 and I was wearing a bikini! A fricken bikini. Oh lord. I would never even consider wearing one in my current state. I have no desire to even put a “regular” bathing suit on this summer. Ugh!

What happened to me? Well having a baby certainly didn’t help my case. I know I can’t blame this entirely on my peanut, but it was a contributing factor (it has to be, right?)! Some women just seem to bounce back amazingly and look better even before they had their baby. I am just not one of those amazing women. I guess now that Leah is 15 months old, I can’t keep using the excuse “I just had a baby.” During my pregnancy with my precious little Leah, I gained 70 lbs! Holy cow! Most of it was water weight that I couldn’t control. (I had all sorts of high blood pressure issues. I was huge as a house and swollen to the max). Forty pounds fell off right after I had Leah and then in the next coming months I lost another 10 lbs. It is these darn 20+ lbs that are still lingering around.  My little girl was worth every single pound but it is time to part ways!

I know losing weight is not rocket science. You need to eat right and exercise. Looking back, Rob and I used to go to the gym 4-5 times a week. We would do more than just cardio. We would spend at least 45 minutes working on arms or legs or abs after we ran the treadmill or elliptical. At the time, I actually liked going to the gym. Now I dread the gym. Actually, I just dread “going” to the gym. It seems that once I am there, I am okay. By the time I get home from work, and make dinner it is almost 6:30/7:00 and I lose my motivation. I want to spend time with my baby – after all, I’ve been away from her all day. I will have to suck it up and make going to the gym part of my routine (or at least getting some sort of activity into my day). I have a closet full of clothes that don’t fit my after baby body. I would love to be able to get back into some of them.

Rob and I also need to change our eating habits. We LOVE to go out to eat and grab some drinks and that is part of our (my) downfall. We’ll usually go out once during the week and sometimes once or twice on the weekends. Not only will it help our waistline, but our pocketbooks too. We agreed to try and cut way back. We’ll still go out if we have a commitment like “girls dinner” or a work event. We won’t deprive ourselves completely, but try to make better choices when we do go out. No more appetizers! Small changes will hopefully go a long way.

I am not doing this posting to whine to everyone how unhappy I am with my weight, but I need to get it out there so I can begin to hold myself accountable. I need to face the facts and do something about it! So my luck, I’ll probably lose weight just in time to gain it all back when I get pregnant with my next baby. Ah – at least we can try to put a foundation in place to change our habits and lifestyle.